Sunday 14 April 2013

Lonely

It's Sunday night and I'm sat at home,
Tired of feeling so very alone,
The token single, the only one,
Without a man to share the fun.

It's hard to deal with, I will not lie,
I'm sick of it, and want a guy.
Someone to love me, to hold me tight,
To kiss and cuddle and snuggle in at night.

I'm sick of being treated badly by men,
I don't deserve it, I'm a top class hen.
But I can't seem to find him, the one who fits like a glove,
And wonder if I ever will fall head over heels in love.

I'll try to stay positive, and keep a smile on my face,
And one day will find a guy who is totally ace.
Hopefully its sooner, instead of too late,
I'm single and lonely and hope that's not my fate.

Monday 7 January 2013

Only you can decide.

Many say "things happen for a reason", I am one of those.  Though in reality I have never really thought much about the concept itself.  Last night, as I was playing in a training match for an National tournament this weekend I got a ball into the face, breaking my nose.  I am gutted.  It is looking like I may not be able to now play in the tournament.  Myself and my team, of which I am the captain, have been working hard for this tournament since the beginning of November.  We have committed extra time for training each week throughout our normal season and also over our Christmas holidays and then BOOM, 3 days before the event I get wiped out.

My friend, an officer of the law, drove me to the hospital to get checked out.  It was she that said to me "you know Rack, things happen for a reason.  You could have been in a car crash on the way home this evening".  I agreed.  We discussed this and other events that had happened over our lives and what we think the reasoning behind them was.   I began to wonder, what really is the reason, or is there even one?  Was it just pure bad luck and really shitty timing?  Or did this happen to prevent something worse happening to me?  To be honest, that's where I stop.  I try not to over think things, actually most of the time I am too lazy to over think things.  Things happen.  Shitty as some things may be, they happen.  Get on with it, live your life, be happy and be the best person you can be.

I certainly haven't counted myself out of playing this weekend, no matter what the doctor says.  Silly maybe, but I know me, I know what I am capable of and I don't want to let my team down.  The final decision will be made on the day.  No one can make that decision, but me.  I will be who I want to be.

How much??

So I got my motor insurance renewal notice this morning.  I was waiting for it.  I was dreading it.  I was happily surprised when I opened it.  I was quoted €803.35.  Not bad, considering my circumstances.

I'm driving about 12/13 years at this stage.  I have had my full licence since December 2002.  I have never had any penalty points, accidents or ever made a claim.  I have, however, a driving conviction.  In late November 2007, I was driving a friend home after a night out.  In fairness I hadn't drank all that much and was home by 12.30am.  I was stopped at a checkpoint and was arrested.  I was 2 mils over the limit.  6 months previously, I was considered to be under the limit.  It was about 11.40am, I had quite a lot of sleep that night, but hadn't had my breakfast yet... maybe that was the problem?  Maybe it wasn't.

Most would say I was unlucky, I would consider myself fortunate.  Things happen for a reason.  Whatever the reason was, it happened.  Maybe the reason was not me, but maybe it was for someone else.  A lot of my friends stopped getting into their cars so early the next day after being out.  Maybe that's why I was caught.  Maybe I was meant to be off the road for those 12 months, something could have happened to me?  Maybe it helped me finally move on in certain areas of my life.  Who knows?  I'm still here, I'm happy, that is what counts.

Anyway, I began this post to laugh about the variety of quotes I received this morning when I did a quick ring around to see if I could get something more competitive.  Would you consider €7149.75 more competitive? HA..... Seriously, I actually got that quote.  SEVEN THOUSAND EUROS?  My car is nearly 13 years old, has numerous scratches and a variety of squeaks and creeks in it... It is not even worth €7,000.  I didn't even pay €7,000 for it when I bought it.  Madness, utter madness.  Maybe they really, really did not want to insure me!!

Looks like I will be sticking with my current insurer anyway.


Tuesday 1 January 2013

New beginnings....

New year, new beginnings and hopefully a new me.  I like the current me, but parts of me I am tired of and want to change, for the better.

Over the past few weeks as 2012 was drawing to a close I started to think about what I wanted in life, what I want to achieve, who I want to be.  I realised a number of things on my own and was told by others about certain things I should maybe look at.  Being told of these things hurt me somewhat, nothing disastrous mind, but it certainly made me think about certain ways I behave and why I do so.  More so when I was being told the same tings from more than one person.  So from all of these realisations I have decided not to actually give anything up as such but rather to take on different attitudes and behaviours.  Positive ones.

My first "resolution" is to say "NO" to taking on extra work or projects.  I am always busy, running here and there, helping people out, getting involved in voluntary projects and basically running myself into the ground.  So this year I will continue to be involved in things but just not as many things!!

My second resolution is to be more positive about my relationship with guys.  To reduce my fear of rejection and to even sometimes take a chance and maybe even take the mahussive step of asking a guy out on a date.  Within this resolution I am also going to try and believe in myself more, that I am a good person, I am beautiful, I have an okay-ish body and that I deserve to be loved.

The third resolution stems from what TWO guys said to me this weekend.  Mortified when it was said to me, but nonetheless am glad it was said to me so that I can work on it and fix it.  It seems I use my "wit" and "sarcasm" negatively to slag off guys I actually really like.  I try to make things a joke as a defense mechanism but actually I just insult them.  I WILL change this.  What a horrid trait.  Horrid, horrid, horrid.

Finally I also plan on changing my dietary habits and am also going to try and be more patient and helpful with my mum though rather than making these resolutions, I am just making them BE me.

So that's it.  My first blog.  The first day of the new year.  The first day of the new me, which let's be honest didn't start so well having TWO takeaways and not leaving the couch!  Tomorrow is another day.  It's okay to stumble, just pick yourself up again, brush yourself off and start over.